Feb 23, 2011

"Love You Forever"...great, but please go away

Love You Forever seems to be one of those nostalgic titles that will always be cherished for presenting the lasting love of a mother to her child and the cyclical nature of life and all that gushy, sappy stuff chick flicks are made of. 

This book needs to go away. 

In this picture book the mother sings a lullaby to her son.  Most people seem to be familiar with this quote that stems from the book's title:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be. 

Aww, how sweet.  The reason this book has a long-lasting shelf life: it has a go-to quote for future graduation and birthday cards.  Lovely.  People's perception of this book is well-captured in a Friends episode here, where the characters all weep over the amazing love that is had, given, shared and received (for you Leanne).

For some reason people either have never read the entire book and only recognize it from that one quote, or they are just completely blind to the intense creepiness that the book contains:
But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed.
 What's that? It gets creepier?
If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed.
So the mother is a huge creep who apparently isn't afraid of breaking and entering charges or the possibility of raising a real life Norman Bates.  And if this book is supposed to represent a cycle of love, then this son is going to do the same for his daughter.  Thaaaaat's a bit much.  

I don't know, maybe I'm cynical or maybe there's actually nothing unusual about mothers crawling (seriously, crawling) across floors to stare at their children.  Maybe it's just me who gets a visual image of the girl from The Ring crawling out of the TV set.  But I'm pretty sure my mother didn't and still doesn't do that and I'm even more sure that she still loves me.  So lets let this book go already and find a new way to tell kids we'll love them forever, okay?

EDIT: Turns out this book is on the 1001 list. Check! 1000 to go...


  1. We had this book too when I was younger. Even when I was little I thought the mom was a bit of a creeper, not gonna lie. Nice sentiments, but a bit much. And when the son goes back to his mom's house and rocks her when she's a little old lady...? Too weird.

  2. Not my fault you have no heart. Congrats on being the cynical old hag with all the cats. Maybe it'll be for the best that you don't have kids to love unconditionally.

  3. Hahaha love it, so true - this story is just a breeding ground for sexual deviance.
    (Also, is this yahoo news?)