Aug 4, 2011

How I Met Your Mother

Ahhh How I Met Your Mother.  How I love thee so.  I mentioned once before that I love this show because it's full of lists, all of which are amazing.  It's also the show that enabled Britney Spears to make what some people consider a comeback and, as an added bonus, Bob Saget is the narrator.  #winning

But back to the list thing.  I love lists.  Lists and books.  So here's a list of fake books from a show full of lists.  Also, each one of these books is made up of or contains lists.  So they're lists within a list.  Guys, How I Met Your Mother is Inception (BRAMMMMM):

1) The Power of Me, by James Devito
Ohhh Brit Brit :-)
In "Ten Sessions," Ted is determined to win over Stella, his dermatologist, by the time she's finished removing the butterfly tattooed on his lower back.  Yup.  I would have gone for the receptionist.  One, because we're good people; and two, because she's Britney freakin' Spears.  But, whatever.  Seeing it in her office, he thinks Stella is reading a self-help book called The Power of Me and decides to bring a copy with him to impress her at his next session.  Turns out, it was actually Marshall's copy, Stella hates those types of books, and Britney Spears decides to read it because she's fallen for Ted and similarly thinks it will impress him or she just really needs it (she does).  There's no actual excerpt from the book, but it's a self-help book, which by definition means it's a huge list of things to do to feel better about yourself and most likely annoy the people around you. 

2) The Bro Code
It's mentioned on occasion throughout the series and even became an actual book to give to your friends as a funny present or keep on your own coffee table to show people that you are in fact a "bro" and, as such, adhere to the appropriate code.  Sadly, I'm not a bro and unable to follow said code, so I was left with the choice of purchasing it as a Christmas gift for my brother.  You're welcome, by the way.

Anyway, first mentioned in "The Goat", The Bro Code is a document written in the 18th century by Barnabus Stinson, as George Washington and Benjamin Franklin were too busy.  The document contains 150 articles outlining the expected behavior of "Bros" such as the obvious "Bros before hos" and the less obvious "the mom of a Bro is always off-limits, but the step-mom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing."  Barney breaks the "no sex with your Bro's ex" Article, which leads to him enlisting Marshall's legal wisdom to find a loophole in the Code and consequently introducing the book to the series. 

3) Robin 101 Notebook
While not technically a "book book," it's in a book form, contains words and Ted teaches from it, so it counts.  Robin is upset that Barney doesn't know how to stop being Barney the gross womanizer and start being Barney the official boyfriend.  Overhearing her complaints, Ted, as a self-appointed expert on being in a relationship with Robin, decides to give Barney classes to help him figure out how to be her boyfriend.  Robin finds the Robin 101 notebook and is appropriately disgusted.  The book contains wonderful lists about Robin including how to distract her (the Vancouver Canucks 2004 Division Title, proper gun cleaning and maintenance, and emperor penguins) and things never to do around her (mention hockey's surprising lack of popularity in the U.S., cry, surprise her, or show her a YouTube featuring an animal playing a musical instrument). 

4) Goodbye, Sparky
Ted psychs himself up for a nostalgic road trip with Marshall that will be fueled by the energy drink Tantrum ("TANTRUM!") and musically accompanied by the Proclaimers' "500 Miles."  Thanks to marriage, Marshall has become a "we" rather than an "I," and Ted desperately needs some alone Bro time with his best friend.  But sadly, the wife tags along and instead of listening to the obnoxiously pleasant one hit wonder, they listen to the Kenny Rogers narrated audio book Goodbye Sparky, which, according to Lily, apparently made Elizabeth Hasselbeck cry (to which I say, GOOD).   It's appropriately about a man who loses his best friend, except here it's his dog, Sparky.  It has my favorite list of all time: "because Sparky loved chasing a ball, and it didn’t much matter what kind. Tennis ball, baseball, Wiffle ball, golf ball, basketball, beach ball, gum ball, a grapefruit-which isn’t actually a ball, but is round like a ball, a football-which isn’t round, but it’s still technically a ball, Indian rubber ball…This ends disk seven. The audio book continues on disk eight. (Ted removes the disk and puts back the other one) Disk eight.  Lacrosse ball, volleyball..."

5) The Playbook
Another one of Barney's creations, this one from the episode of the same title.  Essentially, it's a compilation of his crazy schemes to get women.  More specifically, a list of crazy ways to get women into bed.  Following his breakup with Robin (who he will so clearly marry, I'm calling it now), Barney breaks out The Playbook to pretty much make up for lost time.  Hilarity ensues in list form as he describes various scenarios:

And because I've watched more HIMYM clips while writing this than I have while actually procrastinating, here's my all-time, semi-HIMYM related favorite: