Friday Five: 30 Rock

30 Rock ended last night and I am feeling ALL THE EMOTIONS.  So, to satisfy my need for the show to forever remain in existence, here are five awesome, but sadly fake, books used in one of the best television comedies ever:

1. Dealbreakers: A Girl's Guide to Shutting it Down

Liz Lemon's self-help book that she unknowingly based on the ridiculous men in her workplace.  It includes gems like: "If your man asks you to pay for chicken wings, that's a dealbreaker, ladies!" and "He thinks he deserves a vajayjay upgrade. He doesn't; he's not Tom Brady. Shut it down." It eventually leads to her getting her own talk show, which in turn leads to her developing crazy actor tendencies which leads to this treasure:

2. Jack Attack: The Art of Aggression in Business

Jack's book first makes it's appearance in Season 1, when Liz's boyfriend, Floyd references it before meeting the legendary businessman.  It then makes an appearance when a 14 year old uses it to take down Jack in her pursuit of becoming CEO of Kabletown. With a K.  Pearls of wisdom: Never let someone arrive first (Chapter 2 of the book), "I want to kiss your boyfriend on the mouth" (Chapter 12), and I'm sure there's some reference in there about your hair being your head suit.

3. You're Doing It Wrong!

Dr. Spaceman gives this to Liz when she mentions having a boyfriend. "It's about having a satisfying love life. For life!" Also, his techniques guarantee male orgasm.  You could pair with it his compilation album: Love Storm.

4. Geiss Cubes

This would also be a great book

"It means the book is full of cubes of knowledge. It's a good title." - Jack on CEO Don Geiss' book, where he provides "timeless" wisdom like: "Because a woman's brain has fewer folds."  It's good stuff.

5.  Tracy's Autobiography
Tracy realizes that the deadline to write his autobiography is the following day.  The TGS writers quickly attempt to write out the story of Tracy's life, looking to Wikipedia when the man himself is of no help. They come close to pulling off the massive project, but then Tracy remembers the publisher passed on his book and the whole day was a waste.  Okay, so this never actually exists as a book, but work is done to complete it.


Oh 30 Rock. How I will miss your ridiculousness.